Retirement Life November 13, 2026

Recording a Family Member's Life Story: A Step-by-Step Guide

Mark Godfrey

Most families have a storyteller, and most families assume there will be time to write the stories down later. Recording a parent, grandparent, sibling or old friend talking about their life is easier than it sounds. You need a phone, a quiet room, a short list of questions and about an hour. This guide follows the method taught by the Smithsonian's folklife center and adds practical advice from the Library of Congress, StoryCorps and the National Archives on keeping the recording safe.

Before the interview

Step 1: Ask, and explain why

The Smithsonian Center for Folklife and Cultural Heritage publishes a free Folklife and Oral History Interviewing Guide. Its first advice is simple: get permission, set a time and place in advance, and tell the person what the interview is for and what will happen to the recording. Never record anyone without their knowledge.

A good way to ask: "I would love to record you talking about growing up, so the grandchildren can hear it in your own voice. Could we sit down for an hour next Sunday?"

Step 2: Pick a focus

"Tell me about your life" is too big. The Smithsonian guide recommends starting with a clearly defined focus. Choose one for the first session:

Childhood and the house they grew up in
Their parents and grandparents
School, first jobs and working life
Military service
How they met their spouse
Raising children
A place: the farm, the neighborhood, the old country

You can always record a second session on another theme.

Step 3: Do a little homework

Look through old photographs, letters or a family tree before you sit down. Write down names, dates and places you want to ask about. The Smithsonian guide notes that photos, letters and heirlooms are excellent memory prompts, so bring a few along.

Step 4: Write open-ended questions

The guide advises questions that begin with "how," "what" or "why," which invite stories, over questions that begin with "did" or "do," which invite a yes or no. Keep your list loose. It is a guide for the conversation, not a script.

Step 5: Set up your equipment

A smartphone is enough. The Smithsonian guide says a phone works if it is fully charged. Use the built-in voice recorder or a recording app.
Practice first. Make a test recording at home so you know where the files go and how to share them.
Free up storage and plug in. An hour of audio takes space, and video takes much more.
Bring a pen and paper for notes and follow-up questions.

StoryCorps, the nonprofit that has recorded conversations across the country since 2003, also offers a free app and an online recording tool that walk you through an interview. Its online tool lets you record with someone in another city.

Step 6: Choose a quiet place

The person's own home is usually best, according to the Smithsonian guide. Turn off the television, close windows and move away from the refrigerator and ticking clocks. Sit close together at a table and place the phone between you.

During the interview

Run a one-minute test and play it back to check the sound.
Label the recording out loud. State your name, the person's name, the date, the place and the topic. This is the Smithsonian's advice, and it means the recording identifies itself even if the file name is lost.
Start with easy questions, such as where and when they were born.
Listen more than you talk. Allow silences. People often fill a pause with the best story of the day.
Ask follow-ups. "Can you give me an example?" and "What happened next?" are the two most useful questions you have.
Leave the recorder running. The guide advises against switching it on and off.
Watch for fatigue. The Smithsonian suggests one to two hours is about right. Stop sooner if the person tires, and schedule another visit.

Thirty questions to choose from

Print this list and circle eight or ten. The themes follow those suggested by StoryCorps in its Great Questions list and by the Smithsonian guide.

Early years

Where were you born, and what do you know about that day?
What is your earliest memory?
What was the house you grew up in like?
What were your parents like when you were small?
What do you remember about your grandparents?
What did your family do for fun?
What was a typical supper at your house?

Growing up

Who were your friends, and what did you do together?
What was school like for you?
What did you want to be when you grew up?
What was your first job, and what did it pay?
What got you into trouble?

Adult life

How did you meet your husband, wife or partner?
What do you remember about your wedding day?
What was it like when your first child was born?
What work are you proudest of?
Where have you lived, and which place felt most like home?
What was the hardest period of your life, and what got you through it?

Family stories

What stories did your parents tell about their own childhoods?
Where did our family come from, and how did we end up here?
Which family traditions do you hope we keep?
Is there a family recipe you can describe from memory?
What is the funniest story the family tells about you?

Looking back

Who has been the most important person in your life, and what did they teach you?
When did someone's kindness make a difference to you?
What are you proudest of?
Is there anything you would do differently?
How has the world changed most in your lifetime?
What would you want your great-grandchildren to know about you?
Is there anything I have not asked that you would like to say?

After the interview

Save and label the file the same day

The Smithsonian guide recommends labeling digital files with the person's name and the date. The National Archives, in its advice on digitizing family papers and photographs, suggests file names that use only letters, numbers, hyphens and underscores, with no spaces. For example: Ruth-Miller_childhood_2026-11-13.m4a.

Make three copies

The National Archives recommends the 3-2-1 rule for digital files:

Rule	What it means	Example
3 copies	Keep three copies of the file	Phone, computer, external drive
2 types of storage	Use at least two different kinds of media	Computer hard drive and a USB drive or online storage
1 off-site	Keep one copy somewhere else	With a relative, or in an online account

Write a short summary

While it is fresh, write a page of notes: who is speaking, the date, and a list of topics in the order they come up. The Smithsonian calls this an audio log. It makes the recording far more useful to someone who finds it in 20 years. You only need to transcribe the passages you want to quote.

Send copies to family members. The Smithsonian guide suggests a thank-you note and a copy of the recording for the person you interviewed. Ask how they would like it shared. If you plan to post it online or give it to an archive, get their agreement in writing and respect any limits they set.

Keep the originals

If you photograph or scan old pictures and letters during the visit, keep the originals too. The National Archives advises storing family papers below 75 degrees Fahrenheit and below 65 percent relative humidity, away from damp basements, garages and hot attics.

Two national projects that accept recordings

StoryCorps. Conversations recorded through StoryCorps can be added to its online archive, and its collection is also held at the Library of Congress. StoryCorps says more than 700,000 people have taken part.

The Veterans History Project. The Library of Congress collects first-hand accounts from U.S. veterans. According to the project's participation page, it accepts stories from veterans of all branches and ranks who served at any point since World War I, whether or not they saw combat. Anyone, including students 15 and older, can record an interview. The project's field kit contains the required forms, including release forms and a recording log. Read the kit before you record, because the project has its own requirements.

Frequently asked questions

Should I record audio or video?

Audio is simpler and less intimidating, and it is what the Smithsonian guide treats as the standard. Video adds faces and gestures but needs more storage and better lighting. If in doubt, record audio and take a few photographs.

What if my relative says they have nothing interesting to say?

Start with objects. Hand them a photograph and ask who is in it. Specific questions about ordinary things, such as what was for supper or how they got to school, tend to open people up.

What if a painful subject comes up?

Let the person decide how far to go. Offer to pause or move on, and never press. They can also ask for something to be left out afterward.

How long should a session last?

One to two hours at most. Several shorter sessions are better than one long one.

What if my relative has memory loss?

Keep sessions short, choose the time of day when they are most alert, and use photographs and music as prompts. Older memories are often the easiest to reach. The goal is a pleasant conversation, not a complete record.